By 7:00pm I went into a deep mediating state and I closed my eyes, pulled my legs to my chest as tight as I could, and pushed almost without breathing. I heard Travis and the doctor start the ten count for me to push. They began one, two, three… I stopped listening and she pushed with all my might and with deep frustration. The doctors quickly put on their gowns and pulled this little 5lb 14 ounce baby out. She was a chocolate brown color. I yelled out, “I have a brown baby.” At 7:03 pm they laid her on my chest. I was overwhelmed with emotions and cried, but no tears were coming out. This little precious baby was staring at me with her big brown eyes. Her chocolate color went fading and fading right before my eyes and she was lighter than me. The nurse gave her a shot and she did not cry. She just stared at me. We named her Brianna Abigail. Travis had one little tear in the corner of his eyes, my sister, Maria, who was also there was emotional. My mother-in-law came into the room and thanked me for making her a grandmother. Taking this baby home was going to be a challenge for Travis and I because we never took care of a baby this small. The first night, Brianna did not sleep at all. I saw the sun go down and come up. As the days went by, she slept more and more and Travis and I are discovering together how to be parents.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Journey to Becoming a Mother
I always said that I would try things at least once. All my life I dreamt of being a mother, but I never thought it was a plausible dream. I had a lot of issues I had to iron out and I wanted to be a role model for my child. This pregnancy came at the perfect time in my life—I was married to greatest man I have ever met, I was done with school, I was in a better place financially, and I was at a good age. All the issue I was worried about was gone. However, nothing can prepare you for motherhood. You can read books and look at videos, but hands on is completely different.
On May 17th I felt extra exhausted so I decided to perk myself up by walking around my mother’s block a few times. On the drive home I felt slight cramps. By 7:30pm it was more intense. By 10pm I was clinching to my bed sheets for dear life. My husband, Travis, yelled out “Let’s go to the hospital,” as he grabbed my Victoria Secret duffle bag that had been packed and ready to go for weeks. I didn’t want to go to the hospital because I thought it might be those Braxton hicks’ contractions. By, 11 it became apparent that this pain wasn’t going away. I called my doctor and told her that I thought I was in labor. She told me to wait it out at home as much as possible. So I took a shower, shaved my legs, put light makeup on, and got dressed. A half hour later, I couldn’t deal anymore, so Travis and I drove to Beth Israel Hospital. At 12:30 I was there getting examined. I was 4cm already, but they advised that I go home and come back. I thought to myself, “What’s wrong with these people”? Travis and I walked to the car and I tried to close my eyes for a bit, but the pain was too intense.
We decided to walk to a deli and grab a bite; it was going to be a long night. As I sat there and ate my French fries drenched in ketchup, the pain increased immensely. I turned to Travis with tears in my eyes, “I want the fucking epidural”!
We walked back to the hospital and I was admitted. I never felt so much pain in my life. It was like a stabbing pain in your stomach. At 5am I finally got the epidural. It was a tingly feeling in my spine before I lost all sensation in my legs. A few minutes later there was no pain at all. For seven hours I laid there, sleeping and texting with no pain. There was a machine beside me that noted how much more until it ran out. By 2:30 pm the epidural medication had run out, but luckily the pain didn’t start back up till 4pm. Those French fries I had eaten hours before came back and the smell of ketch filled the room. Apparently, the epidural has a lot of side effects and nausea is one of them.
Dr. Mentah came into the room and announced that I would have to push and in a half hour I would have my baby. An hour of pushing went by and there was no baby. Dr. Mentah suggested that if the nurse brings in a mirror I can see what’s going on and that it would give me more of a push. I saw the crown of the baby’s head and dark black hair. The doctor reassured me that in another half the baby would be here. Two hours went by and I had pushed and pushed, but all I can see was the top of the baby’s head. Dr. Mentah thought that if she distracts my mind I would be able to push better. I was super tense. She asked me about Sephora and Ole Henriksen products. I gave her skincare advice and all and offered to give her samples too. Was I really giving a consultation in the middle of labor? By the third hour, I had no energy—I was dehydrated and hungry. It had been nearly twenty hours of contractions. I was strapped to an oxygen machine and the room felt like it was 100 degrees.
By 7:00pm I went into a deep mediating state and I closed my eyes, pulled my legs to my chest as tight as I could, and pushed almost without breathing. I heard Travis and the doctor start the ten count for me to push. They began one, two, three… I stopped listening and she pushed with all my might and with deep frustration. The doctors quickly put on their gowns and pulled this little 5lb 14 ounce baby out. She was a chocolate brown color. I yelled out, “I have a brown baby.” At 7:03 pm they laid her on my chest. I was overwhelmed with emotions and cried, but no tears were coming out. This little precious baby was staring at me with her big brown eyes. Her chocolate color went fading and fading right before my eyes and she was lighter than me. The nurse gave her a shot and she did not cry. She just stared at me. We named her Brianna Abigail. Travis had one little tear in the corner of his eyes, my sister, Maria, who was also there was emotional. My mother-in-law came into the room and thanked me for making her a grandmother. Taking this baby home was going to be a challenge for Travis and I because we never took care of a baby this small. The first night, Brianna did not sleep at all. I saw the sun go down and come up. As the days went by, she slept more and more and Travis and I are discovering together how to be parents.
By 7:00pm I went into a deep mediating state and I closed my eyes, pulled my legs to my chest as tight as I could, and pushed almost without breathing. I heard Travis and the doctor start the ten count for me to push. They began one, two, three… I stopped listening and she pushed with all my might and with deep frustration. The doctors quickly put on their gowns and pulled this little 5lb 14 ounce baby out. She was a chocolate brown color. I yelled out, “I have a brown baby.” At 7:03 pm they laid her on my chest. I was overwhelmed with emotions and cried, but no tears were coming out. This little precious baby was staring at me with her big brown eyes. Her chocolate color went fading and fading right before my eyes and she was lighter than me. The nurse gave her a shot and she did not cry. She just stared at me. We named her Brianna Abigail. Travis had one little tear in the corner of his eyes, my sister, Maria, who was also there was emotional. My mother-in-law came into the room and thanked me for making her a grandmother. Taking this baby home was going to be a challenge for Travis and I because we never took care of a baby this small. The first night, Brianna did not sleep at all. I saw the sun go down and come up. As the days went by, she slept more and more and Travis and I are discovering together how to be parents.
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